The Truth about Letting Go

Alternatively titled, the first step in accepting being forever alone is letting go

Public Service Announcement

In case you weren’t aware, I’m not great at dating. I’m great at relationships (in my humble opinion) but getting into those relationships is not my forte. Most of the time, I’m fine with used to being single, although admittingly I still sometimes wish I wasn’t. However, there’s something about the holidays that makes being single hard. It could be not having a boyfriend to buy presents to or take to holiday parties. Probably, it has more to do with having to handle questions about why I’m still single (#foreveralone).

This year I wanted to ignore the sadness around being single around the holidays and embrace it. I’m excited to announce that this month, I’m launching a blog series on what I’ve termed “Dateless December!” Every Sunday in December will be devoted to a post about being single. Be sure to tune in every Sunday at 6 p.m. EST to read more about my forever alone journey.

TLDR: I’m single, it’s fine. I’ll be talking about it all December!

Dear Twenty Somethings,

Being in a sorority and working at camp have both taught me the value of having a “fun fact”. I have two go-to fun facts – one, I hate onions (the best way to describe their texture is bleh) and two, when I was little I wanted to be a penguin when I grew up. Today, I’ll add another “fun fact” to the table – I’m  not great at letting go.

Truthfully, my inability to let things go can sometimes get ridiculous and often times deals with relationships (or lack thereof.) I’ve had the same crush for two years now, even though I know it’s one-sided and will never be a thing. Last week, I had a dream about someone I dated five years ago and actually woke up sad. I probably have a mental catalogue of every argument or mean thing said to me by an insignificant significant other. Those are just some of the things that I may be inable to let go.There clearly is another compartment in my brain where I keep all the things I can’t let go of.

I never understood why I have difficulties letting go.

Is it a by-product of social anxiety and insecurity? Am I just crazy? Why am I like this? It’s always seemed that the ultimate thing I can’t let go of is my inability to let things go.  I’d just like to clarify, dear readers, that I’m not crazy. I’m trying not to paint  a picture of a Sam stuck in the past because I’m not. Most of me have moved along from my past relationships, crushes and dating insecurities, but I still remember them so I can’t say that I’ve truly moved on. Luckily, I don’t let my inability to let these things go run my life.

I think the hopeful part of me is what keeps me from letting go completely. I know it’s silly to hope that a one-sided crush turns out to have been two-sided all the time, or that someone you care about more than they care about you will sweep you off your feet. It is equally as crazy to hope that someone you dated five years ago will come back to you in some mysterious, unexpected way. I blame fairytales. Fairytales taught us at a young age that anything was possible. However, what they fail to tell us is that sometimes, it’s okay to stop hoping that some dreams will come true. It’s a reality that we often learn in our twenties – not everything is a fairytale. That’s where my issues of letting go have some effect on my every day life.

But Sam, you may ask, what on earth does letting go have to do with Dateless December and being single?

For some people, their inability to let things go prevents them from being able to move on. They get so caught up in their past that they forget to enjoy the moments of being single. Or, they try to rush into new relationships to help them let go of the past. For these people, Dateless December can be a time to really examine things that you can’t let go of and help you truly move on from them.

For me, ultimately I need to learn how to let go of the fairytale ideal I created in my head at a young age. I thought by now Prince Charming would have made his way into my life and we’d live happily ever after. I pictured myself as a wife and mother by the age I’m about to turn in three short months. Reality has proven much different. Prince Charming is nowhere to be found. He could be a) hiding b) already in my life and I don’t know it or c)never going to come. The answer to that quiz has not been revealed but I’m trying to learn that in the meantime, it’s okay to be single just in case I do end up #foreveralone.

Dateless December is going to be my opportunity to enjoy being single, to learn how to let go of past events, and how to grow as an individual so that if Prince Charming does come into the picture, he’ll be dating my best self. And, if he doesn’t come into the picture, this Princess will be okay.

This Dateless December, join me in letting go of the fairytale and relishing my single status!

I will be talking about my single experiences, how to be single, what not to say to single people and how to survive the holidays as a single human. If you have any single topics you want me to cover, send me an e-mail, comment below or get in touch with me through my favourite avenue, social media. The first of December’s bi-weekly Twenty Something Talks will be up on Thursday and the next Dateless December will be up next Sunday at 6:00 P.M. EST. Until then…

Truthfully yours,

Sam

PS. Are you good at letting go? Is there anything you wish you could let go of?  Leave your answers in the comment section 🙂

 

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